i wish...

there are so many things i wish...

right now i wish, it was something OTHER than THIS... pretty much anything...

and another thing; i wish i could go back and party like it it 1999, and it really would be 1999. i think there are some things i would do different, experiences i would embrace a bit more tightly, warning signs i would notice, gut feelings i might follow, dreams i would explore.

"it is what it is" they say anyway... but what it is, kind of sucks.

did sleeping beauty wake up?

so i blink and all of a sudden, there are like a 100 blog entries.
i thought the pony was dead? glad she isn't...

but since we are sharing this blog, or we used to be...
i feel the need to contribute at least 1 cent worth. ;-)

currently at work, wasting time.
funny how so much of it is spent that way,
being wasted-
whether sober or in drink.

wondering how my friend is making out as the weather changes
and i glance at my coats laying around the house
from last week's "chill in the air"
now it is 80 outside (or it was before the sun started going down)

is it freezing in NYC or are you having coat free days?
i remember early october for me was the beginning
of a 6 month love affair with my winter wool.

i hope you are well CB, that phone call will happen soon.
until then... be nice! :)

My SS Today: 7 , the trees are beautiful here & no need for a coat

ok, it is ON.
i am officially in full-force time-wastin' mode!
it really bothers me that i am still this way at the big 3.0.
hello, can i not learn how to complete the task at hand?!
i guess not. cause here i sit, surfing and cursing the decision i made to sign up for this school thing again. hello, did i not hate it enough the FIRST TIME?!

when i tell people all that i am doing currently, i always get the "damn, that is a LOT" and the truth is, it IS a lot. but somehow i still find hours on end to sit contemplating BEGINNING something. hummm...
ok, I have to just DO IT! but i do think i have been inspired to start blogging again. we will see. i dread trying to walk that fine line between being honest and being TOO honest when you know others will see.

how's the city?

MARCH ON!

so, i was active this weekend. seriously active. i mean if you call a long road trip and a slow moving march active.
but it was, i assure you, the most ACTIVE thing i have ever done, and it was NICE.

marchforwomen.org

anyway, my head spins when trying to really convey what it was to be a part of something like that, but i went with two other gal pals and we just drove up ourselves, without any group association. so it was kind of cool in a way because we really had no idea the scope of the event and then there we were, part of a group of over a million people strong.

lots of speakers, and musicians (most barely tolerable) but it was seeing such the varied group of people that makes you really think about what you are there representing. the media liked to coin it as simply a "pro-choice" rally. but it really was about WAY more than that. and for me to go into it would take pages and pages and hours and hours. i guess it boils down to the basic value of one's life. and in this case the value of a woman's life. and apparently that isn't something that the politicians should take lightly.

will again, make an empty vow to blog more often. but at least this time when i don't follow through, one can assume it because i have now been spurred on to do SOMETHING a bit more than sitting at home waiting to be able to crawl into bed again.

peace out...
My SS Today: 9 (need a job, but know the parents are there; and hey...i have a CHOICE)

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
Carl Reiner

in theory, i love the snow! i especially loved it while living in NYC.
nothing to worry about...maybe shovelling a few stairs, but other than that, you just walked slowly and eventually you arrived at your destination.
here in the south, when the weather turns icy or snowy, all hell breaks loose.
everyone freaks about it here. if snow is in the forecast, everything closes, and havoc ensues.
i'd say i am currently looking at about 5 inches of the fluffy stuff as i peer out my window.
of course the biggest problem is for us that earn an hourly wage.
i had to drive the long-ass commute to my minimum wage job only to come back 2 1/2 hours later due to the snowy weather. then there is my poor husband whom just phoned to tell me he STILL hasn't made it to work an hour and a half later. usually it takes 15 minutes. yes, he called to see if they were closing the damn corporate coffee whorehouse, and NO, the selfish bastards aren't. so what does one do? risk losing one's job and not go in? or risk losing one's life (i know a bit dramatic) just to stay on as a corporate slave?

speaking of corporate slaves...listened to the The Diane Rehm Show on NPR today.
here is the promo paragraph:
You see them almost everywhere. They serve your coffee, clear your table, or clean your office. The working poor come from practically all walks of life. they are white, black, Latino and Asian. Author David Shipler examines the problems these hard-working Americans face - and offers informed solutions - in his book "The Working Poor."

this woman has no idea what being poor means. usually NPR can do no wrong by me, but she actually said... "i bet that being in that situation really puts stress on marriages and families." god, she is brilliant! then she went on to also say that it must be hard for these poor people (most of which she guessed had television) to come to terms with what they see on the television. meaning that it must be really hard for the "poor" to be overwhelmed with all the things they don't have and the stress that must put them under. seriously...has she never met someone who didn't own a mercedes or 5000 square foot home? i bet she has 3 starbucks coffees everyday. i mean i don't know the lady, so i'm not trying to be mean, but how can someone that reports on current events and the corresponding literature be so clueless!?

ok, this blog isn't the most brilliant, but didn't want to start writing brilliant ones now!

My SS Today: 7 (only had to work 2.5 hours, and probably off tomorrow!)

Top 10 Reasons Why I Have a Difficult Time Blogging :

10. I don't sit at a computer all day anymore.
9. When I do sit at a computer, all I can do is stare at the images that flash before my eyes.
8. My internet connection is...*gasp*...dial-up.
7. I live in Charlotte, North Carolina and besides avoiding the bad traffic there isn't much going on.
6. I do most of my thinking and processing on the 1/2 drive back home while listening to NPR.
5. The rest of my "thought" is used to try and communicate with my husband.
4. The current state of political affairs has my mind in knots.
3. I am not getting enough blood to my brain due to the hours I spend entertaining children.
2. I have to keep it straight when the Tweenies come on because I'll be damned if I am going to sit though that children show! (I can handle The Wiggles and Oobie and I may even like Stanley, but PLEASE GOD, NOT the Tweenies! They scare me! And they should you too!)
1. The amount of crap there is to watch on the 5 channels of television I actually get at home...wins every time.

My SS Today: 5 (I blogged, but yet this medicine still hasn't helped my clogged head!)

Again, it has been forever. I wish it was because I was out doing something very EXTRAordinary, but I am afraid that is definately not the case.

Turns out the energy it takes for me to survive in this surburban landscape somehow also taps into my soul. One thing "newsworthy" (although not ALL That) is that we got a cat. A full grown female feline (no energy for the kitty type) adopted from the county. She is really cute as shit. Before we got her we vowed not to be these annoying kitty people, but OH MY how easy it is to get lost in those annoyingly "kitty cat is the cutest" ways.

She seems to have adjusted just fine. :)
All except using the bed we got her (she tends to like under the bed better) and the green scratching post that hasn't been clawed once (she tends to use anything but!).

Otherwise, same ole. Get up at 7, go to work. Develop big ass headache, we all take naps, everyone wakes up, resume headache while preparing lunch. Older brother comes home, upgrade to migrane and sore throat from screaming, then sweet relief of the 1/2 hour drive home. Only to deal with OWN problems now.

Ahhhh... the life.

So it is the 10 year anniversary of NAFTA. And remember anniversary isn't always marking something joyous...it often is used to mark the rememberence of one's death. ANYWAY...
So it is...and I can't help but have a mix of panic and relief that ultimately I want to go into a career that HAS to be hands on. Social work HAS to be, right?

Profits are all good and well, but sooner or later if all the companies are looking for cheaper labor and they all become successful at finding it elsewhere (which is a true possiblity being that we americans have gotten a bit spoiled on what we deem as a necessity...hence our high pricetag living) it is quite possible that one day there won't be anyone left in the US to buy said compay's products and/or services. So it would kind of be like them shooting themselves in the ass and taking all of us with them as they file for bankruptcy. But of course their life wouldn't be as dramatically upset because well it was just a business venture and for us, well it is our livelyhood.

Anyway, can't help mulling it all over, being that NPR is doing a special report all week on the anniversary (more cons that pros it seems).

My SS Today: 7 (I have a job, and now a cat as well...what else could I want?)